Why can't i love ?

well i did love somebody when i was really young ...i was about 16, fucking hell it was pure love, everytime i am with her i was happy, everytime i am with her i was jelous of the eyes around her, everytime she looks at me in the eye, i lost myself in the deep of her soul , it was only important if i was important for her, it was only important if she makes me special, she was the one for me i could die for her , her name was Deniz i just cant forget her, but still , it did not work out and i have never been able to be with her , she said she loves me but never run for it , so the first love first hurt, i never actually loved anyone ever again ,well i dont believe in love no more? whats fucking love ? can anyone actually explain , it is something we all believe in , and when we feel something complicated about someone or something we call it love, like calling anything on the sky UFo that we see apart from birds and planes, it is same fucking thing, two people being together takes a lot , and mostly brings things to our life, coz sharing your life with some other is not a easy thing, you cant act to someone you will be together forever, you can only act to girls you met on street or at the bar just to fuck them for a night and forget about , nowadays fucking kids making everythnig so easy , all about sex is not it , girls love getting fucked and boys looking forward to fuck so it makes it even and everything working out great but why would you call your lust fucking love, just because lots of people do that i say i do not love or i never loved ...
this are my ideas, thats what i think, fuck you if i am thinking different from you , coz i am different hahhahaha, as the Jimmy Carr says ...i dont care what you said coz i fucked your mum hahahahahahah